


i got you, babe

by vlieger



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2013-09-24
Packaged: 2017-12-27 12:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/978946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vlieger/pseuds/vlieger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>post-4x24. The first thing Deeks saw when he woke up was Kensi's face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i got you, babe

The first thing Deeks saw when he woke up was Kensi's face. At that stage he wasn't sure whether he was alive or dead, but either way it was pretty much the best thing he could've hoped to wake up to.

"Deeks!" said Kensi, sniffing and dredging up a blinding smile. It looked kind of forced, but not ingenuine. Her eyes were very bright, a little wet. "Hi there."

So not dead, then. He was pretty sure Kensi in his version of Heaven wouldn't be crying. Unless this was hell, which, upon reflection, was entirely possible.

"Am I dead?" he rasped.

"No," said Kensi fiercely, sniffing again. "No, Deeks, you made it, you're gonna be fine."

"Oh," said Deeks. Then, quietly, "Hey, Kens."

"Hi," whispered Kensi again, smile softening as she leaned in closer. "I'm really glad you're not dead."

"Me too," said Deeks.

"How are you feeling?"

He closed his eyes and thought for a moment. He was pretty numb from what he guessed were a lot of meds, but behind the fuzzy blanket of painkillers was a buzzing ache that he knew from experience meant he was pretty badly hurt. It was worse than the time he got shot. He wasn't sure whether that was because it was actually physically worse, or because of the excruciating, drawn-out way he'd landed himself here. "I've been better," he said, grimacing.

Kensi nodded, biting her lip, and reached out to touch her fingers gently to his jaw.

"Wanna kiss it better?" said Deeks, grinning painfully and lopsidedly.

Kensi stilled, but then leaned in, after a moment, to press her lips where her fingers had been, soft and light.

Deeks blinked when she pulled back. "I didn't-- "

"Yeah, you did," said Kensi.

"Yeah, I did," agreed Deeks, grinning again. The pain seemed further away this time.

 

"Scootch over, Top Model's on," said Kensi, dumping her bag on the chair.

It was three days since he'd woken up in hospital; Kensi had been there pretty much the entire time. Deeks was healing steadily-- or well, physically, at least.

He hadn't quite managed to figure out or even catch up on what was happening in his head.

"Seriously?" said Deeks.

Kensi levelled him with a look.

"Okay, okay, scootching," said Deeks, shifting over to make room.

"Good," said Kensi, climbing onto the bed next to him and stretching her legs out. There was barely enough room for the two of them; they were pressed together from shoulder to ankle, warm and close. "Here." She handed over one of the two smoothies she was carrying.

"Awesome," said Deeks. "Packed full of sugar, right? Don't go all no refined sugar again on me now. I'm all for healthy superfood smoothies usually, but I think this-- "

"It's got sugar, Deeks," said Kensi, eyes on the TV.

Ten minutes into the episode, her head dropped to rest on his shoulder. Deeks kept his mouth shut; Kensi smelled really nice, like soap and gunpowder and distant perfume.

Maybe a little bit like sunshine, too. All of his favourite things.

Twenty minutes in, Deeks turned his wrist to tangle their hands together. He hadn't thought about anything but the way Kensi felt beside him since she got here. He appreciated it, and he wanted her to know, wanted to tell her she was special, but he didn't know how-- probably shouldn't be having any kind of serious conversation while he was on so many painkillers, anyway.

Kensi didn't say anything, just squeezed his hand briefly, the corners of her mouth turned upwards when Deeks glanced at her. He figured she'd got the message.

Half an hour in, Kensi said, "Deeks, I-- "

"I know," said Deeks. "Kens. I know."

Kensi squeezed his hand again. "You don't know what I was going to say," she whispered.

"Try me," he said.

Kensi lifted her head to look up at him, assessing, and then whisked forward to kiss him, on the corner of his mouth this time, still soft and oh so careful, but lingering.

"Yeah," he said a little hoarsely when she pulled back. She looked skittish, like a horse ready to bolt. He tightened his fingers around hers, just in case. "I knew."

Kensi stared at him a moment longer, eyes wide, then rolled them and let her head drop back onto his shoulder. "Be quiet now," she commanded. "The judging's about to start."

Deeks smiled at the screen and thought that maybe, possibly, in the end some things were worth everything else.

 

When he woke in the morning Kensi was still there, folded awkwardly to accommodate two grown adults in a bed barely big enough for one. She was pale, with bruised-looking shadows under her eyes and a kind of exhausted dryness tingeing her skin. Her hair was falling out of her braid, tangled about her face, and her fingers were curled tightly in the sleeve of Deeks' hospital gown.

She was the most gorgeous thing he'd ever seen.

He reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear and her eyes fluttered. "Deeks?"

"That's me, Fern."

Kensi rolled her eyes, yawning and sitting up. "Sorry I hogged your bed," she said.

"If you're gonna apologise for anything, apologise for the snoring."

"I do not snore," she said, glaring.

"Sure you don't, Sweetpea."

Kensi pinched his arm.

"Ow!" he said with as much obnoxiousness as he could muster before his morning dose of painkillers. "I think that was the one spot I'm not bruised."

"Quit whining," said Kensi, but she smiled at him, a little tentative.

"I'm in hospital, regular rules don't apply," said Deeks.

"Whatever," said Kensi. She was silent for a moment, unmoving, and then she said, "What are we doing, Deeks?"

"I think we're in bed together, Honey-Muffin," said Deeks.

"Deeks," said Kensi.

Deeks chewed on his lip, eyes on the open door where he could see the orderlies starting their breakfast rounds in the corridor. It was weird in its monotony, like he was watching something completely alien on a TV screen. He wondered whether it would always feel like this now. "I don't know," he said at last.

"I know things are different now, maybe, but before, with the-- when you-- "

"Changed your life with a single kiss?" suggested Deeks helpfully, gathering himself and throwing her a smirk. She made it easier, bridging that gap between foreign and familiar, between then and now, between two versions of himself that felt like entirely separate people.

He loved her kind of a lot for it; more than he already had, which was saying something.

"I'm being serious, Deeks," said Kensi.

"So was I," said Deeks quietly. It came out a little more cracked than he would've liked. Goddamn mornings and hospitals and nearly being tortured to death.

"Oh," said Kensi.

"We don't-- " started Deeks.

"Do you-- " said Kensi at the same time.

Deeks huffed a laugh. "Ladies first," he said. "Even though you're not really a lady. I mean, not in the sense that you're a guy, 'cause if you were a guy I definitely wouldn't've kissed you, but you know, with the guns and the violence and the snoring-- "

Kensi punched his arm.

"Delicate invalid here, come on!" said Deeks, shying away.

"You were always delicate, Deeks," said Kensi.

"I am the manliest man you know," said Deeks. "Apart from Sam, obviously. You were saying?"

Kensi cleared her throat. "I-- I mean, do you-- is that something you still-- want?"

Deeks chewed on his lip some more. "I don't think I should make any promises before I leave this hospital room," he said, eyes on the corridor again.

"Oh," said Kensi.

"I mean," said Deeks, not really sure what he meant at all, except that it felt like this slow, terrifying thing creeping up on him, waiting to hit him as soon as he left the quiet sanctuary of this room and Kensi's constant presence, and he needed to say _something._ "It's kinda like Narnia in here, you know? Or a bubble, I'm the boy in the bubble, and I might get sick when I get out. Or go crazy. Er. Crazier, not that things can get much crazier, except maybe me."

Kensi looked at him, brow furrowed sadly. "I get that," she said quietly. "It's okay, Deeks. I just. I'm still your partner, and I'm here when you're ready, okay? If you still want-- "

Deeks grabbed her face in both his hands and drew her into a kiss to quiet her; to quiet her doubts, to quiet everything. It was a little frantic, a little desperate, but something shook and settled inside him, too, maybe because Kensi's pulse was fluttering wildly under his fingers and he realised that she was just as terrified as he was, and it was okay.

He drew it out this time, because God, he was alive, and Kensi was finally giving him the kind of answer he could work with.

"Don't be stupid, Fern," he said when he pulled back, stroking his thumbs over her cheekbones. "I just don't wanna disappoint you, okay? You're kinda terrifying. And I'm kinda messed up. Might be for a while."

"Deeks," said Kensi. "You're a pain in my ass, possibly the most annoying person I've ever met, you never shut up and you're way too nosy-- "

"-- Gee, way to make a guy feel special. And how many times do I have to say I'm a _detective_ , it's my job to be nosy, I detect things, that's what I-- "

"But you've never disappointed me," finished Kensi loudly.

"Oh," said Deeks, blinking.

"I've got your back, Deeks," said Kensi. "And I can-- whatever you need, until you're okay, and even if you're never okay, I don't care. It doesn't change anything. I mean, for me."

Deeks watched her for a moment. "Never?" he said eventually.

"I didn't mean-- of course you're gonna be okay, I was just making a point, you-- "

"No, I mean-- " Deeks grinned slowly. "-- Never? As in, you're planning on sticking around that long? Never means forever, you know. Been thinking about our little ninja assassins?"

"Right now I'm thinking about kicking your ass as soon as it's a fair fight," said Kensi dryly.

"You're lying," said Deeks. "Well, maybe not about the ass bit. You thinking about that, Kensi?"

"Deeks, so help me-- "

"Just say yes, Kens," said Deeks quietly. "Humour me."

Kensi blinked, mouth still open around a retort. "Say yes to what?"

"Me," said Deeks, looking her in the eyes.

"I already did," said Kensi, just as quiet.

Deeks smiled slowly. "So we're good?" he said.

Kensi smiled back, pressing their foreheads together. "We're good, Deeks."


End file.
